And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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