i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
