I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
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