I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Randomize
