hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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