NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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