I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize