Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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