remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
