hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
