Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
