So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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