I molested 6 butterflies tonight
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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