the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
