I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
