My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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