drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
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