Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
