so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
