Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
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