Well douche your snatch and let's go!
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
