What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
birth control should be required to get into college
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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