piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
