4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
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