I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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