some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
