Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
