some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
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