found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
