I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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