I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
