Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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