Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Randomize
