Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Randomize
