Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize