wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Randomize
