I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Randomize
