can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
This beer is not sobering me up at all
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I'm way too hungover for life right now
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
