I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
