You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
