so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
