I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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