I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
