uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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