operation harelip BJ is a go
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
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