i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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