she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Randomize