They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
