He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
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