do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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