guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Are we still banned from the library?
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
