Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Randomize
