The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
