But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Randomize
