bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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